Why Satan?

     I had planned to launch this blog last December with my first post being all about the benefits my family has enjoyed once I finally abolished the tradition of Santa Claus from our home. This idea came after several years of frustration over many "mom blogs" floating around on the Internet that I mostly enjoyed; as long as I ignored the emails that flooded my inbox with home school bible study packets and Noah's ark craft tutorials, and almost every single one of them wants to tell you what they did in church that Sunday or how this particular psalm is getting them through rough time in mommy-hood.  I just want advice on how to get my kids to do their own damn laundry and what's on sale at my local grocery store. I don't give two shits about your women's only bible study class and I shouldn't have to.
     Oh that's another thing; I cuss. A lot. I am so sick of this image perpetuated in not only the online mom blog arena, but in the way our general society views ideal motherhood as a whole: that we should be these magical pristine creatures that never dare slip out a cuss word in front of our kids, lose our cool and scream at them to please just shut the fuck up, or lock ourselves in the bathroom and cry because our kid just spilled Hawaiian Punch all over the living room carpet while fighting with his brother over the video game you finally caved and let them play despite the "no video games on school nights" rule you tried to implement because you were just tired of hearing them asking repeatedly to play. I cuss and then explain I get to because I'm an adult and they'll have to wait until they're eighteen to call each other assholes. So far we're three kids down and they all seem to grasp the concept just fine. Your house shouldn't just be clean, but it should be "well organized and properly labeled with a strict regime of daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning schedules that somehow you managed to get the entire family willingly involved with, while also making sure to tie the room together with matching interchangeable colors and decor".... yea, my house regularly looks like a scene out of Jumanji and I'm just happy if there's not mold growing on anything in the kitchen and nothing smells like pee. Oh, on top of all that you should be fit, have nice skin, cute outfits with coordinating shoes, and be able to leave the house looking just like those moms in Parents magazine in under 30 minutes. Ha! You'll have to pry my yoga pants and tank tops from my cold, dead, about 20 lbs overweight body first, thank you very much. I am too busy and life is too short. If I have a Saturday afternoon free I'm going to spend time with my family doing something we all actually enjoy, not going through my bathroom sink and tossing out old lotions or repackaging and labeling the contents of my pantry. Food already comes in packaging, usually made to fit in pantries with other food...why put everything into fucking jars with chalk board paint labels?! I mean sure it looks kinda cool, but that is seriously way too much work and for no real benefit other than impressing your judgy sister in law that's gonna go home and talk shit about you anyway. The bottom line is my kid's aren't going to remember that I left dishes in the sink for a few days, or that one of them blew their nose on my jacket and I had to walk around like that for three hours while we ran errands and got lunch. They will remember that I regularly took them out to get lunch, visit book stores, see movies, go to the park, etc. They will remember that I was there, and that's all that matters. Everything else is just feeble attempts to satisfy somebody else's egotistical idea of what a "proper mother" is.
     Now to address the topic of this post: Why Satan? Well simply put I am a satanist, and I'm a mom. I originally intended to put this out as an Atheist mom-blog for the above mentioned reasons in the first paragraph; I was sick of Christian propaganda thrown in with the parenting and couponing advice I sought, and I was willing to bet I wasn't the only one. Turns out I'm not and there's a really cool Atheist blog out there called Godless Mom that puts out great content. No need to reinvent the wheel right? (I had my blog name selected before I stumbled onto her page, and I really like my name so sorry for the similarity but I'm not changing it.) So this project died before it ever hit the ground. But something still tugged at me, bothering me. I only didn't aim to put out a Satanic mom blog because of fear. Atheism is safer, they don't get attacked as much as Satanists. I've watched Christian and conservative groups completely lose their shit the second you mention kids and satanism in the same sentence. It's even lead to death threats against groups trying to incorporate parenthood issues or children's organizations into modern day satanism, members of our community having it used against them in divorces and custody battles, and certain school districts here in Arizona have ways of getting you to just move your kid to a different school district if you're out in the open about your satanic religious practises. I had accepted that this was just two parts of my life I had to separate to avoid all that unpleasantness.
     Except that doing so directly contradicts everything about who I am. I am not someone who has ever lived quietly in the closet about anything. I am a firm believer that to normalize anything irrationally taboo you have to talk about it; honestly and openly and without fearing the potential negative backlash. Thus a Satanic mom-blog is born.
     Having read that what do you visualize? An Addam's Family style home with little metal head kids running around screaming and cussing up a storm while mom sits clad in a flowy black gown, full goth make up in a armchair reading The Satanic Bible with a black cat in my lap? Well sorry to disappoint you but my home is quite typically boring, and I'm either home from work in my business casual attire or in previously mentioned yoga pants and tank top trying to cook something for dinner all three of them will eat (usually some sort of chicken), while my terrier follows me around the kitchen like he's never eaten a meal in his pudgy little life. My kids are well behaved, clean (as much as any typical boy is at their ages), and very respectful in how they act and speak. Are they perfect? No! And I don't expect them to be. I teach them that they will be as successful as they put effort into and as a result I have one honors student that wants to be a doctor, one that loves extracurricular activities and just played a part in his first school play, and a much younger third who complains about the school not teaching his class to read more words yet. My kids are compassionate and thoughtful. They have a firm grasp on the difference between fantasy and reality and I attribute much of that to the fact that we don't threaten them with eternal damnation for poor behavior or praise a lord for when good things happen, and they know gifts come from us not Santa or the Easter Bunny. We've explained to them cause and effect, and natural consequences. They not only know how babies are made but even understand that adults have sex for pleasure not just procreation, and that there's nothing wrong with that. Guess what? They aren't traumatized. In fact it has significantly decreased the likelihood of them being sexually abused because they do know what sex is, that it's for adults, they understand consent, and most importantly (though it's terrifying and awful to think about) but if anything were to ever happen they know they can come to us and we will absolutely believe them. They also don't willing swallow whatever bullshit an adult feeds them simply because it's an adult saying it. Trust me, if you tell one of them something they even suspect is inaccurate they will call you out on it, if not google it and show you just exactly why you are wrong. I can speak from personal experience on that one. They have independent likes/dislikes, thoughts, and opinions and know that the value of those things are not strengthened or weakened by my, or anyone else's agreement or approval of them.
     Is our household any different from most Atheist households in that aspect? Probably not. But I feel that it would be a disservice to my community, and a moral disservice to myself, to label myself anything other than what I am. I am a Satanist, and I am a mom.

Resources to explore:

Want to know more about Satanism? Visit the link below for the official website published by The Satanic Temple.

Looking for an Athiest mom-blog? Visit the below link to check out Godless Mom

Legal Notice:
I in no way speak for or represent The Satanic Temple or Godless Mom. The views and opinions in this blog are my own and do not reflect the views or opinions of The Satanic Temple or Godless Mom.


  1. Great read. I'm a satanic dad, married to a Christian. We try to find the middle ground for our daughter to let her see the spectrum of different lifestyles. We aren't proselytizing so when she decides so, she can follow a religion or lack thereof, as long as she isn't a little asshole. Therein comes the extended family... Bible thinners, Catholics, and some closeted atheists... And me. With the giant unholy priest baphy tattooed on his leg... It was so refreshing to hear your story and I look forward to hearing more. I'm new to the Satanist community and haven't met many parents in my chapter. But anyway... Keep it up. I look forward to hearing more . Hail Satan and hail yourself.


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